A while back the group went to a location downtown to see what the space would inspire from us. We came up with adaptations of existing works and some experiments to try out a few weeks later.
The other night we went to a different location to start the process again. I found that I came back frustrated, because it's been two times/locations now and I'm not getting inspiration from these places. I find parts that are visually interesting, spend time going through ideas, but none of them are "good enough", too abstract, etc.
I'm happy to see other people are coming up with a lot of ideas, but it was bothering me that I was struggling to come up with one that I thought was worth bringing up.
And then I realized, it's ok!
I don't need to be inspired by the same things other people are. And I reminded myself about all the things that do inspire me: music, sounds, motion, feeling, expression. So maybe places don't speak to me, but that's fine. And it took getting frustrated to have that conversation with myself and realize that it's ok.
It would also be too easy to go into the next site visit thinking "I'm not going to get anything from this, so I don't care", but that's a cop-out. Instead, it's better if I just don't worry about it so much and seek out those things that I know do inspire me. And for all those ideas that people did come up with, I want to help them come to life, not be the sourpuss that chokes the fun out of things.
It's often hard for us to acknowledge things that we're not good at, especially when you see other people doing them without too much difficulty. But the alternative is to get bitter, get upset, get "worse", if you will. The trick - and something that I still work on - is knowing when to fight against things versus letting them go. Either way, until you recognize your weaknesses and can think about them objectively, how can you ever take steps to get better?
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