Do you really want to know?

Sometimes I feel like I'm a really good taiko player.  Things come naturally.  Rhythms are mine to command.  I can play as fast or as long as anyone else. 

And then I think, how is my technique, really?  And then I start analyzing what I'm doing. really analyzing.  And then things flip 180.  I find my technique is sloppy, my striking uneven.  My lower body isn't in sync with my upper body.  I'm gripping too tight.  My patterns are forced, unnatural.  I suck.

If I never took the time to know what I was really doing, I could have stayed feeling like a better player!  Why did I do that?  Ugh.

People often don't look at themselves in a way that forces them to really look at their technique because they know the above  will happen.  So they stay on the safe side of things.  On the other side, there are people who do want to know and they look, but that crappy feeling hits them like a low blow and it keeps them there.

It takes courage and perseverance to take a good honest look at your technique, accept that feeling when you find things you don't like, and then start working on them.  It takes more courage and perseverance to do it over and over again, knowing you may very well feel the same way about new things down the line.  But the key is that if you're really working on what made you feel crappy, you're very likely getting better.

So I ask you again, do you really want to know?